Melissa Estavillo of Biltmore on Life, Lessons & Legacy

Melissa Estavillo shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.

Good morning Melissa, it’s such a great way to kick off the day – I think our readers will love hearing your stories, experiences and about how you think about life and work. Let’s jump right in? Have any recent moments made you laugh or feel proud?
As a psychologist, I often talk with my clients about cultivating a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset, a concept pioneered by researcher Dr. Carol Dweck and popularized by her viral TED talk. Just last week, my son came home from elementary school eager to share something he had learned in class. He began explaining the power of the word “yet,” showing me how adding it to a sentence like, “I’m not good at math…yet,” can completely shift the way we think about learning and growth.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I said, “Wow, you’re learning about Dr. Carol Dweck’s work!” He looked at me wide-eyed and replied, “Mom, what?! You know about Dr. Carol Dweck? You are so cool! Let me show you more on a website you probably don’t know much about. It’s called Ted.com.”

The next day at work, I shared the story with my colleagues and said, “Good news—there’s hope for the next generation. Bad news—we may all be out of a job, lol.”

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I’m Dr. Melissa Estavillo, a psychologist and the founder of Biltmore Psychology & Counseling in Phoenix. I started the practice in 2012 with a simple goal: to create a space where people don’t feel “broken,” but instead feel seen, understood, and supported as they grow into the best version of themselves.

What makes Biltmore unique is the way we combine warmth with expertise. My team and I genuinely enjoy what we do—we laugh a lot—but we also take our work seriously and push each other to keep learning the best ways to serve our clients. Whether it’s navigating anxiety, relationships, or big life transitions, our focus is always on connecting to our shared humanity and helping people grow through life’s most difficult moments.

Outside the office, you might catch me sharing insights on the news, testing my questionable gardening skills (Phoenix heat doesn’t make it easy), or hiking desert trails with my family. I feel incredibly fortunate to do this work. Every day, I see people face their greatest fears and discover that even in the darkest nights, there’s hope—and that transformation is always worth it.

Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. Who saw you clearly before you could see yourself?
Ah, my grandmother! She was a tenacious, dynamic woman who brought that energy into our relationship. I remember in high school, she encouraged me to apply for a college scholarship based on leadership qualities. I certainly did not see myself as a leader at that time and was quite resistant to the idea. But in her loving and determined way, she convinced me to apply, and I ended up winning the scholarship.

She was the first to express her belief in my potential to achieve things I never thought possible, like earning my Doctorate and establishing a private practice.

As a graduation gift, she gave me the largest framed diploma I have ever seen. While its size still slightly embarrasses me, I proudly hang it as a symbol of her love and faith in me.

Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
Oh my goodness—every day for the first five years of private practice! I had very little business background when I started and was blissfully naïve about the challenges that come with running a business. I hated being “the boss.” There was no manual, no definitive studies telling me exactly what to do, and I felt completely out of my element as an entrepreneur.

I still laugh when I think back to my original plan: provide patient care as a psychologist, run the business, serve as clinical director, and somehow do it all part-time! Looking back, it was wildly unrealistic, but at the time, I thought it was a great plan.

But goodness, I am so glad I didn’t quit. The hard work paid off, and now I get to work alongside an incredible team of clinicians in an office culture that is healthy, supportive, and genuinely fun. And while my schedule exceeds the part-time dream I once had, the work is more rewarding than I could have ever imagined.

Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? What’s a cultural value you protect at all costs?
As a child, I was fortunate to grow up surrounded by a strong community outside of my immediate family; people who loved me, guided me, and consistently showed up in my life. That experience of connection shaped who I am and gave me a deep appreciation for the importance of community.

Today, I worry about how disconnected we’ve become as a society. I truly believe this lack of connection is one of the biggest drivers behind the rise in mental health distress/diagnosis.

So increasing connection and community is one of my core values and a “soap box” topic I talk about constantly–all the time–to my clients, friends, husband–anyone who will listen.

Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. If you knew you had 10 years left, what would you stop doing immediately?
Resisting rest and feeling guilty any time I’m not busy.

As I previously mentioned, I truly value connection and community. But when I slow down, whether to rest, to be present with myself, or to be playful with others, I often feel a surprising amount of discomfort. Even though I know how essential rest and presence are, I still find myself battling anxiety whenever I’m not working, producing, or crossing something off a list.

If I only had 10 years left, I hope my body would allow me to slow down, embrace rest without guilt, and truly find joy in the unproductive moments.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://Biltmorecounseling.com
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCbqEc3Shf4Iv9pDuLe9BbA
• Other: Email: info@biltmorecounseling.com