Rising Stars: Meet Joaquina Abner

Today we’d like to introduce you to Joaquina Abner.

Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started? 
For my entire childhood and part adulthood, I was bullied. I was told I was too fat, too black, too ugly, and nobody would ever love you. When I became married, my husband said to me, “Your dead mother is ashamed of you.” After a while, I started to believe the ugliness about myself. I believed the story that people told me about “me.” I got married when I was 18, had four children, evicted twice, and divorced all by the age of 26. I couldn’t shake the fact that I wasn’t good enough to have a fruitful and loving marriage. I got married at the age of 40. I thought this is going to be a great life. I was wrong. This husband told me that my dead mother was ashamed of me. He was an Army Veteran who was narcissistic abusive man. 

One day, I was looking in the mirror, and I didn’t recognize the woman looking back at me. I was sickly, with sunken dark eyes and sad. It was then I decided to leave, so I grabbed garbage bags, threw my clothes in them, grabbed my purse and keys, and left. I didn’t look back. We were separated for five years before I applied for a divorce. I had to go to the courts several times because the paperwork was missing information. 

I finally said to myself, no matter what, I am not leaving the courthouse until I have completed every single page. The next day I was heading to the courthouse, I received a text from my stepdaughter. The text read, “Dad is dead.” I was shaking, crying, and then numb. 

I’ve known him for 23 years but married for 18 years. It was then I started my healing journey. There was so much to heal from: mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse. It took a long time, and I’m still healing, but it doesn’t define me or my destiny. My trauma is not my badge of honor or my label. 

This is my WHY. I am celebrating the journey I am on. I am celebrating and embracing who I am and whose I am. I want every woman to know that the boxes and narrative people place you in or on you is not yours to hold onto. It is not yours to live up to. Every morning, I am grateful for the breath in my lungs, use of my limbs, a sound mind, and family and friends that love me. 

My true identity is who God says I am. I am blessed. I am worthy. I am loved. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I want every woman to feel that honor that and embrace it. 

I am a Celebration Life Coach and author of two books: one, a mental health wellness and self-care workbook titled “This is Me! A Guide to Embracing Your Imperfections” and my memoir, “This is Me, Learning to Embrace Imperfections.” 

I am calling all women to be the best woman they can be by healing from past traumas, embrace their healing journey, dance and sing with joy and love. 

Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Looking back, would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
I was labeled so many negative adjectives, I started to believe it. 

I was married young, age 18, and struggled for the eight years we were married. We struggled with our finances because there wasn’t any. 

My second marriage, I was 40 with teenage children. It was a hard struggle because of so many different personalities. 

My mother didn’t really teach me about being loved and how I should be loved or how a man should treat me. She had her own struggles and pain she never healed from. 

Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I am a Celebration Life Coach and an Author of two books. I am Coach Kiki. 

I specialize in guiding women from removing the negative narrative, replacing it with positive lifestyle, and embracing who they truly are. I teach them how their past doesn’t dictate their future, and their future is meant to be celebrated with all the love, self-care, and joy they can embrace. 

I am known for my hugs. I give the best and most requested hugs. I was told that my hugs are comforting, and at times, people want to cry as they sink into my arms. They feel the love when they get a Kiki hug. I am also known for my compassion and empathy. I see the good in everyone. I believe we were created on purpose, for a purpose, with a purpose. 

I am proud of myself for not giving up on my dreams. I am proud that I didn’t allow the negativity of my past to direct my present and disable my future. I am proud that my children were able to see that no matter what happens in life, good, bad, or indifferent, we can all rise if we have one person believe in us. 

What sets me apart is that I Love to Dance! I am a dancing coach. I dance in the grocery aisles, doctors’ offices, in the parking lot, and wherever there is music, I’m dancing. I believe I am the only Celebration Life Coach, and that is a wonderful thing. I may be a great match for some and not for others, and that’s okay. I literally celebrate my life each day whether it is by dancing, singing, sitting in my room in the quietness, spending time with God, reading my bible or listening to audible, I do all this in peace because of the healthy boundaries I’ve set for myself which I help others do the same. 

Is there a quality that you most attribute to your success?
I’ve been through it! My experiences of my past have set me up to be successful now. 

I learn from my failures, which are actually lessons. I am persistent, and I believe in what my mission is. I set my goals that aligns with my core values and beliefs. If it doesn’t sit well with me, I release it. I trust God that what He has placed in my heart to help people that will succeed. I am optimistic and motivated to turn the negative to positive. I have daughters, nieces, and granddaughters watching me, this is my legacy I am leaving to them. I set healthy boundaries. I stay away from any toxicity, and I remove anything that doesn’t serve me anymore. 

Pricing:

• $9.50 Workbook “This is Me! A Guide to Embracing Your Imperfections” available on Amazon
• $18.00 Book “This is Me, Learning to Embrace Imperfections” available on Amazon
• $$ Work with Coach Kiki

Contact Info:

• Website: www.coachkiki.net
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/celebrationcoachkiki/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LifeCoachKiki
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/life-coach-kiki-65009323/
• Youtube: www.youtube.com/@CoachKiki-qs5en

Image Credits
Fully Alive Photography
Girls Squad Media
Work Play Branding