Rising Stars: Meet Carol Farabee

Today we’d like to introduce you to Carol Farabee.

Hi Carol, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story. 
The story of who I am today started when I was born. There are those who believe we are born to be kings and others who believe that our experiences in our lives make us who we are. That is the concept of nature vs nurture. I believe everyone has a gift. If we find that gift and use it is determined by our life experiences but also how we face the challenges before us. We all have an inner strength that defines who we are.

There are three types of people in the world: The bully–aggressor, The Subservient – who gets bullied and does not fight back, and then there is the peacemaker – who stands between the bullies and those who are subservient. Which one are you? Here are some thoughts that I have come across in my writings and teachings.

-“Every one of us has something in our past. We need to look at each other for their deeds and not their misfortunes.”

-“If you confuse the enemy you have the advantage.”

-“Do the right things. Even if it hurts. The measure of a man is in his acts.”

-“I keep going until I stop the hurt.”

-“I Stop The Hurt.”

There are many ways to stop the hurt. Kindness, Forgiveness, Understanding and Giving. We all have something in our lives we would like to forget or wish we had done better. Let’s learn to understand those around us and remember we are all human.

A very good friend of mine told me that we don’t know our path. We have to accept things and realize they happen for a reason. Life becomes easier when you believe this. When I was growing up I was just being who I was. Not listening to anyone tell me how they wanted me to act, feel, or believe. It was me being me. It was okay. I can look back and say I was doing what felt right for me to do.

Society needs to control the people. If there were no rules, there would be chaos. The idea is that society has gone too far in a lot of ways in that they have stifled the creativity of the community. Every generation has fought this. There is a book by George McGregor Burns that is entitled “Transformational Leadership.” According to the book, 75% of the leaders who have made a difference in the world come from dysfunctional backgrounds.

Those who are not comfortable where they live will make a difference. Therefore, I was pushed, by who I was, to make a difference. In the last part of my Junior year in high school, I was asked by the teacher, “Who do you want to be when you grow up?” My answer was, “I want to be me. I want to be a Professor.” The teacher shook her head and replied, “You are a nobody and a nothing. You will never be anything but what you are now.”

I stared at her and said, “You are wrong.” And of course, I told her what she could do with her thoughts. That got me sent to the principal. He told me the same thing. I told him the same thing I said to the teacher. I was thrown out of school for two days. I went to the library. My fight today and through all I do is this. “If anyone tells someone they are a nobody and a nothing I will stand between them and the bully.” This is a conversation I put in one of my books between a father and son.

The son: “You are always helping people. You do not always have to help them fix their problems. You can move on.” The father shook his head: “No, I can’t. There is a verse in Psalm 12 that reads: ‘Because the poor are plundered and the needy groan, I will now arise,” says the LORD. “I will protect them from those who malign them.’” If we can help it is our duty to help.

The son thought and said, “So you help those that need protection and cannot help themselves.” The father nodded. “If we stop the hurt we stop the pain. We stand between those that would be hurt and those that hurt them.” The son thought for a moment, then said, “If there is peace in our hearts, there will be peace in the world. Those of us that can have to protect those that we can.” The father smiled. “I am proud of you my son, for you understand.”

Moving into tomorrow means leaving the past behind. Leaving self-doubts, incriminations, feelings, beliefs, and mistakes from yesterday helps our dreams of tomorrow come true. We cannot promise tomorrow will be a better day, but if we leave today behind us, it might have a chance. Let’s look beyond tomorrow today and believe in ourselves.

Kindness, understanding, and forgiveness are never left behind. They empower us to believe in tomorrow. Sweetness is when everyone greets everyone with a smile; we do not judge people who are different from us, and we care about others. We stop the hurt and feel and believe in the human side of life.

If you understand people, you know what they are capable of. People don’t change, situations do. If you understand a person’s character you know what they are going to do. How they are going to react to a situation. Everyone is not the same and does not react to every situation the same. We do not want them to. We must learn to celebrate their differences and accept who they are because that is what makes life interesting and worth living.

Understanding, sharing, and trust are what make the difference. Trust is not easy to have, see, or feel in others. Trust must be earned. Believe it is possible but guard your feelings and look to the facts before you trust. To say my life has been a road of learning, trusting, and believing is true.

There are three things that a person will use to make decisions and those are the Intelligent quotient (IQ) – our decision-making and critical thinking abilities; the Emotional quotient (EQ) – the empathy we have for people around us and in our lives, and the Experiential quotient (XQ) – Our experiences that make us who we are today.

Think about who you are. The highest point here is the XQ. This is where we use IQ and EQ to either change our lives or others or we turn away and bury ourselves in our own achievements and lives. Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

The greatest thing I have learned that makes me what I am today is that I listen, understand, and believe in others who have a gift and are trying to find it. Everyone makes mistakes. We learn from them. See the opportunity in them and move forward to bring our creativity and innovations to fruition by learning from them.

I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
Well, I was born in 1950. That alone was going to set my life on a long path of a lot of feelings. Women were seen as cattle for breeding and not intelligent human beings. They were limited in their ways to make a living. My Mom was a homemaker. We were totally dependent on my Dad for food, shelter, clothing, etc.

I am the second child of 8 children. So, my life began as a sister and then big sister. The idea, at the time, was that women took care of the house and the men took care of the outside of the house. So basically, they did nothing. When I was a teenager I was not a very nice girl. I would not take my brother’s plates from the table to the sink to be washed. I was not their slave. It was interesting as I had three brothers before my sister was born in 1958.

Another thing that was interesting is that my three brothers and I were close in age. I wrote all their book reports and papers to get them through school. It was not easy being someone who thought what they said and did was important in an era where women were seen and not heard.

When I was 19, I was going to college, and that did not sit well with my Dad. Girls did not do that. They got married and started a family. Well, I did not want to get married and start a family as my whole life was taking care of 6 younger than me. My Dad gave me the choice if I wanted to leave home, “Get married or join the Navy.” I pulled my Mom the next day to the Navy recruiting station, and I was gone.

Then was the years of getting my degree and finding work. Of course, I was not paid as much as the men that were doing the same job. By the way, even though there are laws against this, women are still not paid the same when doing the same work as a man. Our society has not come very far. That is why there are so many women starting their own companies.

So, there have been some struggles. But with those issues along the way I have grown into who I am today. I taught my daughter to be a part of the workplace and not act as a female is required to act. I told her, “If you are in a meeting with a lot of men and their coffee cup is empty, you get up and fill your own cup. You DO NOT fill theirs.”

We learn from our struggles until they become lessons. We learn the lessons, but what we learn is not to be angry but to find ways to change what happened. We are not the only ones who do not feel empowered to be the best we can be. That is why we take the high road and say, “We can do this. We are worthy of success.”

There was a women’s seminar I attended many years ago. The presented asked, “When you complete a project or assignment how do you feel? Do you see your success as a ‘Non-failure?’ or do you see it as a ‘Success?’

That really made me feel something. I had always seen my achievements as a ‘Success,’ but to hear another woman tell me that was something special. I used that comparison a lot through the years with a lot of women. I believe it made a difference in how they saw themselves and their accomplishments.

As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
https://arizonabusinessincubator.org/ Arizona Business Incubator’s mission is to work with for-profit and nonprofit organizations to provide the services required to develop a successful business foundation by analyzing where they are in their Organizational Life Cycle.

The Arizona Business Incubator Healthy Business Lifestyle is based on what the business offers the community, workplace, and environment. There are several organizations that are still in the startup phase after years after becoming commissioned. Our lives are based on the cultural, family traditional, ethnic, and social norms we are raised around. We have our own individual emphasis on life as we grow and either accept our limitations or fight against them.

Our environment often defines who we are, and this is not conducive to changing our lifestyle for the better. Several founders take this into their organization, and it affects their creative foundation. The Life Cycle change process is substantial and necessary in order to change the belief system that businesses have developed. This builds on the success of any community and its ability to collaborate for stronger economic growth and productivity.

https://www.youngwritersfoundation.org/ The Young Writers Foundation is a Nonprofit foundation. Their purpose is to address, educate, coordinate, and provide Writing Coaches, Mentors, and information to help students expand their writing abilities and gain insight into any future career goals.

Our mission is to support young writers aged 12 to 19 by providing programs, seminars, workshops, and Writing Coaches to enhance their writing abilities. Shyrlene Enterprises, LLC. Our mission is to share information, create awareness, and promote understanding of the importance of personal and family health, self-expression, and quality of life.

Through this effort, we have created a bridge between providing business information through strategic planning and connecting relationships that support Nonprofit and for-profit organizations. They both need a business structure that supports their own initiatives and the communities in which they reside and serve.

In order to strengthen the connection and build relationships of economic growth and productivity in all communities there has to be a synergy of camaraderie that supports all aspects of successful for-profit and non-profit business foundations. Our for-profit and non-profit organizations form a strong connection with the community as we service nine categories of community impact.

We work with organizations to provide connections for them to organizations that empower them to search for and submit grants. We connect them with Sam.gov, Grants.gov, eCivis, eRA, SAMHSA.gov, and other associations that offer funding opportunities. Our overall goal is to provide services to support the individual organization in their journey through the business lifecycle of growth. From start-up to reach the growth stage.

Can you talk to us a bit about the role of luck?
Walt Disney was told he lacked creativity. WD-40 got its name because the 40th try was the one that worked. Bubble wrap was originally intended to be wallpaper and then housing insulation. It wasn’t until IBM used it for packaging its new computers that the ubiquitous material became widely known and used.

Success is a frame of mind. It’s small, personal triumphs known only to the individual. It’s a grand display with much public praise. Success is not about how much money you have in the bank, the title on your business card, or the degree hanging on your wall. Success is about the feeling you get when you have achieved a goal.

How do we know if our vision is right? We don’t… but if you follow the right path for the right reasons you are going to find your way. Regardless of what success means to you, how you attain that worthy goal is universal. My book, I Don’t Feed Elephants,” explores the various avenues to reaching success and how to work your way around the roadblocks you will certainly encounter. Success is not final; failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts. – Winston Churchill

How much does luck affect our lives? Who can really say? But to have a belief and feeling in your life that you follow does affect our lives. Do we accomplish what we set out to or do we have to pass up the opportunity because of some issue or event? Is that luck, bad luck, or is it poor timing? Do we listen to that inside voice? Do we take opportunities at the wrong time?

I remember something I read years ago. “Everything in its own time.” Luck or no luck in our lives, we are driven by time. When it is time, we will have our chance. There are many people throughout history who have had their moment in time. Mary Shelley’s book Frankenstein was not a success at the time it was written in 1819. Yet everyone in the world has heard of Frankenstein.

Through critical acclaim and for being written by a female, the book had its ups and downs through the centuries. But in November 2019, BBC News included Frankenstein in its list of the 100 most influential novels. Was it luck or just the realization that the book, no matter who wrote it, was a very good book, and it took its time to be recognized as such?

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.youngwritersfoundation.org/ and https://arizonabusinessincubator.org/