Rising Stars: Meet Ashley Magaña of Peoria

Today we’d like to introduce you to Ashley Magaña

Hi Ashley, so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?
I had a very unstable and chaotic childhood. I feel like most of us have definitely come up in their own type of messy household. Some with more extremes and some with less. Either way at the end of the day I believe we are born into the family we were built for. For my story I could definitely go on for days of the traumas and things that set me up for failure before adulthood but we don’t have all day.
My childhood consists of Abandonment issues, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, racism, death.

The loss of my grandmother at 16 was the most challenging thing I thought I’d have to overcome. The women that stepped up as a mother and showed me what love was the one in the family I loved the most died from cancer.

After that I stopped caring about much. Along with cutting and an eating disorder I was well on my way to ruining myself in many ways. Then I met Juan. He came from his own rough upbringing. We found something beautiful after all the years of ugly. Neither of us had seen anyone making it as far as relationships went but we fell in love. We were so young and ended up as teen parents. We chose to keep our baby and fight through the odds. We loved our chubby perfect little babes so much and what we were building we decided on having another perfect baby boy. We got married the spring after our second baby. Unfortunately as our new life was just starting out he was in a car accident that took his life that summer. It happened on the way to work one morning. Talk about a plot twist. Tragedy on that level stops you dead in your tracks. The things you feel when you lose people is unmanageable until you really go through it. I went very much into a downward spiral.

The only thing that kept me somewhat grounded and fighting were the boys. Although things could have been insanely worse they were far from perfect. From Substance abuse to guarding my heart and burying all those terrible things as far down as I could sent us on an unstable journey. Although my relationships in all areas of my life were toxic and unhealthy the only thing I was doing right was being a mother. I’ve had my fair share of mistakes and my boys have definitely been through more than I would have ever wanted but I can say they have become exceptional young men.

Our road after my husband’s death was rocky but I fought hard for those boys. We moved countless times. Financial hardships were crippling at times. Depression and anxiety were just part of the day to day life I was living. Family on both sides were even more damaging to not just me but to the boys. We were out there barely making it but we had each other always.

One other event that happened during this time was my little sister found me on facebook. I hadn’t seen my dad since I was three but they all found me. Three siblings and a huge family that missed me and thought about me everyday. I had no idea I had a whole family out there just wishing they could meet me. It was such an unreal experience. It’s beautiful because I have three siblings and cousins that have become big in my life. This was another door opened up to heal. My dad being put in front of me when I was an adult was insane.

Let’s fast forward to my youngest son coming into this world. My little ray of sunshine that we all needed at the time. I was in an abusive relationship when he came into this world. 5 years of psychological abuse that would later lead to physical abuse. To go through a relationship on that level of extreme manipulation makes you question your sanity. My hope of giving my boys that family we lost is what kept me there for entirely too long. The abuse moved from me to the boys. When my pregnancy with Bryson came into the picture the abuse got worse. Then after that pregnancy I had another that would lead to a hysterectomy would push things to even more abusive. The weekend after I was released from my surgery he hit my oldest son across the face and that was enough. Kicked him out to never budge on the decision I made. There was no coming back from putting his hands on my son.

When I left my youngest son’s dad I was rock bottom. He cleaned out our bank account, I was without a job, fresh out of a hysterectomy and three kids deep. I jumped right back into the Work world. Office Work, cleaning houses, and being an assistant manager at a restaurant. On top of the financial hardships, I had to overcome all the emotional hardships of leaving an abusive relationship that was left on me and the kids. Overwhelming amounts of anxiety, definitely depression and a very fragile place for all of our hearts and our bond. My oldest son became suicidal and really started to spiral. He came to me thankfully, and said if we didn’t leave the town we were in and make changes, He wasn’t going to go anywhere.I scraped together as much as I could and got us moved out to the city before that next school year. Moving from a tiny town to a big city with three kids by yourself is absolutely insane. I moved three different jobs. Went one summer without hot water, through two washer and dryers, stacked up a 5,000 APS bill, at least four cars just in the first two years. The financial struggles were insane. The emotional hard stuff we had to work through was absolutely overwhelming as well but I knew we had to keep working on those hearts.

Then after about two years, things started to settle and change. I finally felt like I could breathe. And things seemed to be calming down. Also moving to the city gave me new career opportunities I would’ve never thought would be possible. Things felt good. The hopeless feelings were gone. Anxiety and depression were barely visitors at this point. When they’d sneak up on me I knew what to do and how to handle it. With faith, lots of tears and heart work we finally felt calm more than chaos. My time was spent with only people I absolutely adored and fed me verses depleting (including boundaries for family).

Then after only 3 years of being in the city our whole world would be turned upside down again. On the 15 year anniversary of my husbands death, to the date, my oldest son and I were in a serious car accident. We were Tboned by someone going 60 mph. This was by far the scariest day I’ve had yet. I was In the hospital for 11 days and had surgery on my leg. Broke the two of the biggest bones. Officially a cyborg, metal rods throughout my leg now. Came out in a wheel chair and over the next 6 months I would have to learn how to walk again. This was my first physical injury on that level and then emotional stuff that comes with it PLUS the traumas and wounds reopened, this was a whole other level of heartbreak. Not only was I in a hospital for so long but when I got home my mom had to come stay with us to help take care of us. My mother and I for the first time in 35 years started to bound and really got closer. Even though this was a major traumatic event for the boys and I, This opened up so many more doors of healing for us too. 6 months to go through my whole entire closet of demons and traumas. I believe I was sat down for a reason. As parents we stay “strong” through things, we bury the hard feelings and move through our lives just surviving. I think it was time to heal our hearts fully finally. Time for us to slow down and really work on so many things. It’s been almost a year since my accident but besides my leg still giving me issues my mind, heart and family is flourishing. You can be emotionally broken and physically broken but the heart is the core of one’s strength.

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
I listed all of these things in my story but I’d say the biggest struggle was navigating motherhood with so much hurt in my past. Escaping all that brokenness and hopelessness. Waking up and fighting every day for positivity and peace. Navigating this life without the traditional family guidance. Thank God for the people placed in my life along the way that taught me how to love again.

Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
As far as work I’ve worked every odd job through the years because I was such a young mother and widow I had to just survive. Served tables for 17 years. Coming from the Sedona area fine dining is the career choice I took that fit our lifestyle the best. Once we moved to Phoenix I had a huge opportunity land in my lap. I had no acting or modeling experience at all but my agent saw something in me. I have been with them going on 2 years. I’ve landed so many opportunities and learned so much about the business. Before my accident I was booking things left and right. Once I gave them the green light I was right back in it. I landed my first feature film which I would have never imagined. It has been such an amazing journey and I know it’s still just the beginning.

I’d say the biggest thing that people tell me sets me apart is my optimism, positivity and heart. Through everything I’ve been through it’s only opened me up that much more to help everyone around me. I believe it’s imperative to sprinkle sunshine as much as you can in this ugly world so every day I go out and do that as much as I can. I know I’ve touched peoples lives with my story and with the safe space I give everyone to be authentically themselves without shame or judgment. It definitely is a gift.

Where do you see things going in the next 5-10 years?
I have so many plans and goals with my acting career but that’s not where my passion falls.

I have even bigger plans for something I’ve always wanted to do. I’m barely starting this journey but everything makes sense and opportunities have been landing in my lap. I want to help women of ages, all walks of life to know they’re not alone with this journey. How important it is to heal our hearts. After my car accident I knew I couldn’t go any longer without sharing my testimony. I am in the works of getting things rolling so I can’t share too much but I have big plans with all of this.
Honestly up to this point raising kids against all odds to still be incredible young men definitely is my biggest achievement so far in this life.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: Ashleymag88

Image Credits
Headshots- Diana Espina