Meet Trailblazer Mystalla “Mystey” Helm

Today we’d like to introduce you to Mystalla “Mystey” Helm.

Mystalla, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I am a born and raised Arizona native! I grew up in Central Tucson, a daughter of a tile ceiling installer and a stay-at-home mom. They eventually divorced after 27 years of marriage. My dad left my mom for his secretary and spent 15 years with his soul mate. She died in 2003. My mom married her old high school sweetheart and have been happily married for over 25 years. Their story is for an Oprah show. 

I went to normal public school but soon got pulled out due to bad grades (I was bored and smart), plus there was severe gang violence in my day. My mom home-schooled me and I graduated with a 3.85 grade average. At night, from birth to 15 years of age, I attended church three nights a week. I was raised in a crazy religion where you couldn’t celebrate holidays or your birthday. It was scarring for sure and turned me into a rebellious wild teenager! In spite of restrictions, I think it gave me the base of wanting my children to experience everything! Halloween and Christmas are over-the-top in my house. I want them to have incredible adventures and to become wild women!

I left Tucson at 18 and moved to the San Francisco Bay Area. I got into Fashion school and ended up in the internet industry instead. I spent 11 years being an HTML programmer, working for make-up companies like MAC and Stila, and even working for some incredible companies like General Magic. They are the developers of the 1st personal device. In fact, there’s a new documentary out about them now. Check it out! 

I met my ex-husband in Palo Alto. He was a sweet, shy man who came from money! That makes me giggle as I say that because money was never important to me. I was not taught to get an education or make a name for myself. I got married at 25 and never figured out who I wanted to be. I just became a wife. I spent years struggling with self-acceptance. We had a hard time having children and when we eventually succeeded our marriage was already falling apart.

Reflecting on the past, I really lost myself while married. I quit my almost 6 figure a year job to be a stay-at-home mom. Something I wanted to do and took seriously. I had been more of a free spirit, and after two kids and 5 years of marriage, I had turned into this conservative shell of a woman. Nothing I ever wanted to do be. I blame him and myself for this. We changed. We became different people, so we destroyed our marriage in the process. 

We’ve been divorced for seven years now and I wouldn’t change a second if it. I have two wonderful, beautiful and smart girls. They are 15 and 12 and I couldn’t be prouder. I mean, I have no idea how I got so lucky! We are the Three Musketeers. I try to teach them how to wield a drill, hang their own curtains, fix screen doors, paint the house, install water softeners and cook. They get to see, and participate with m, in Mexico trips, camping, motorcycle rides, museums, art, Disneyland and tons more. This is why I’m the favorite parent. Ha! I don’t want them to live in a bubble. I don’t want them to have unrealistic expectations of life. 

Career-wise, I’ve struggled. Boy have I struggled. My ex calls it “financially unstable.” Said easily by someone with money or someone raised to go to college. You see, you just can’t go back into the internet industry after a 6-year absence while raising kids. It’s not the same. It’s ever-evolving technology. If you haven’t stayed current then you may as well start over. That’s exactly what I’ve done. I’ve bounced around from job to job trying to find what’s right for me. I’ve been an Administrative Assistant, Project Manager, clothing Store Manager and Restaurant Manager. Ugh!

What I’ve learned? It’s not a job that makes you happy, it’s how you perceive it. I would rather work to live than live to work. Money has not bought me happiness, it’s just my paid bills.

Nonetheless, I’ve recently found the career I love! I work as an Account Executive for a home warranty company. Home Warranty of America, aka HWA. A great company that educates and takes care of their employees. It’s family and safety first! It’s days off, flexible schedules and constantly meeting new people. It’s right up my alley. It allows a family-work balance with lots of growth. 

Then for fun, I get the privilege of bartending for a local family- owned business a few nights a week. Black Mountain Tavern and Distillery is a great little place for good food and their own amazing bourbon and vodka. 

To sum it all up, life after divorce, end of a recent long-term relationship (that ended horrifically) and so many career changes, it has all made me a stronger person. It’s made me a kick-ass, take no prisoners, wild adult! It’s shown my girls strength, independence, honesty and how to be a bad ass woman!

To quote one of my favorite poets, Janne Robinson, – “I would rather drink seven-year-old rum from a sandy bottle and smell of smoke and ash then sit in a church. I will never be a well-behaved woman.”

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
My life has definitely not been smooth. I think anyone who says it has is taking a few too many pills and needs to share. Ha! It’s been a constant string of learning experiences. If I could give a younger woman any advice? Go to college! It does matter! It shapes who you are as an adult and takes those education struggles away from you when you’re trying to find a career that suits you. You won’t have issues like I do where people look down on you for not having a four year degree. 

For the single moms out there, I’d like to tell you you’re not alone. I’d like to tell you to find a tribe of women who won’t break your trust. Find guy friends who you can go out with and discuss your “man” problems. Men have a better outlook on their own kind. Last but not least, find yourself first before any of these other things. If you are not a whole and happy then your children won’t be either. It’s our responsibility to show our kids what happiness looks like, just as important as it is to show them how to ride a bike.

Please tell us more about what you do, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
I get the great chance to work with Realtors, title companies and mortgage brokers. I help them negotiate home warranties for their buyers. Basically, my company helps protect the interior of your home if something should go wrong with the refrigerator, washer dryer, etc. It’s not glamorous, but it definitely has introduced me to a wonderful group of people here in Scottsdale. I have made a lot of friends along the way.

The distillery I get to work, at which I mentioned above, is just an absolute joy and stress relief! I get to work for two best friends who fulfilled their dreams of making really good bourbon! Keith and Steve have made me part of their family and getting to serve our regulars here in Cave Creek. It’s a lot like being in an episode of Cheers.

We’re interested to hear your thoughts on female leadership – in particular, what do you feel are the biggest barriers or obstacles?
Oh my gosh, I could go on and on about female leadership, in general. I’ve worked for both men and women throughout all of my crazy careers. I find women a little more emotional and some men lacking any emotion at all.

I definitely think that we need more open- minded women in the working world. Yes, women get paid less, we’ve all known that for many many years now. Let’s just let go of that fact and move on. Let’s be good to each other, get rid of office gossip, and pursue building each other up instead of tearing each other down. Let’s educate each other and create support systems within our organizations. Let’s become that tribe of women and stick together instead of stealing each other’s man, fighting for the VP seat on the PTO and tattling on each other over social media. Let’s unite and raising amazing functioning adults together. It takes a village. 

Pricing:

• $535 gets you a top of the line home warranty

• $39 for a bottle of Black Mountain Bourbon

• FREE, a smile and a hug if you come to visit me.

Contact Info:

• Address: Home Warranty of America. I service Scottsdale, Tucson, Fountain Hills, Carefree and Cave Creek.Black Mountain Tavern and Distillery is located in Cave Creek. I’m there one to two nights a week.
• Phone: 14802724380
• Email: mystalla22@gmail.com
• Instagram: Mystalla
• Facebook: Mystalla Helm

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