Meet Positive Discipline Southwest

Today we’d like to introduce you to Eva Dwight, Dodie Blomberg, Diane Stouffer, Niki Texidor, Michelle Noe, Melissa Medvin and Tom Reardon.

Eva Dwight related the story of how this organization came together.

Eva, Dodie, Diane, Niki, Michelle, Melissa and Tom, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
This story starts about 20 years ago, when my dear friend, Dodie Blomberg, and I were out for a walk. She said, “I contacted the Positive Discipline Association today and do you know who picked up the phone? Jane Nelsen!”

I was incredulous. “THE Jane Nelsen? You talked to THE JANE NELSEN? She’s a total rock star!”

Dr. Jane Nelsen, along with Lynn Lott, founded Positive Discipline back in the 1980’s. They wrote a book and created a parenting program based on the work of psychologists Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, so it has its foundation in solid psychological research. Positive Discipline helps parents develop skills for raising children who are respectful, responsible and resilient.

Positive Discipline in the Classroom is a trauma-informed, social-emotional learning curriculum that’s designed to be integrated into the classroom at all levels, from preschool all the way through high school. Teachers all over the U.S. and in 60 countries worldwide find that using this curriculum results in an increase in connection and respect (between children, and between adults and children); a decrease in challenging behaviors; and an increase in academic performance.

Dodie and I (and our husbands) were using Positive Discipline as our guidebook for parenting our young children, and Dodie credited Positive Discipline in the Classroom with rescuing her career when she was a new teacher with inadequate classroom management skills.

At the time of Dodie’s phone call to Jane, Dodie had recently left the classroom to stay home with her kids and was looking for a new direction in which to grow professionally. I had recently made the shift from the classroom to the school counseling office.

Her call to Jane started both of us on a trajectory that has taken us where we are today. Dodie certified as a trainer in 2007 and since then, she has served on the Board of the Positive Discipline Association, and trained thousands of parents and teachers across the U.S. and internationally.

With her encouragement, I certified to teach parents in 2008 and started teaching parenting classes around the Valley. In 2018, I certified to train teachers, as well and retired from the public schools so I could do this work full-time.

Over the last decade, we frequently imagined what it would be like to create an entity that would grow Positive Discipline in AZ, and we have expanded that vision to make Positive Discipline a household word across the Southwest. Because we’ve always tried to practice what we preach, the vision had to take a backseat to family and professional responsibilities.

Last year, however, we found ourselves in that magical place in the space-time continuum: our children had all graduated high school, Dodie (now a Lead Trainer with the Positive Discipline Association) had ramped up her career both nationally and internationally, and as a “retiree,” my time was my own. IT WAS TIME TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!

We enlisted the talents of four others to join us in this adventure:

Diane Stouffer, Dodie’s friend since college, is a former teacher who introduced Dodie to Positive Discipline in the Classroom. She eventually stepped away from the school system but is a master teacher and facilitator in her role as a change management specialist at Nationwide Insurance in Scottsdale. When she and her husband began their family, it was time to come back to Positive Discipline. Now a certified Parent Educator, she has been leading Parenting With Positive Discipline classes with Dodie in the Phoenix area for the last several years.

Melissa Medvin turned to Positive Discipline when she became a single mom of her then five-and-seven-year-old children and was searching for sensible parenting strategies. At the time, she listened to a lot of advice and read many books and articles; she also marveled at how awesome her cousin’s four kids were and how happy and healthy their household was. It was a Positive Discipline home. Professionally, she has been an educator in a variety of roles for 25-plus years. In addition to teaching, she loves making connections and bringing people together for a common purpose. Positive Discipline Southwest is a perfect fit for her to use her skills as an Educator with both parents and teachers.

Niki Texidor has worked with families for over 30 years. Her background includes a Bachelors Degree in Special Education, and a Masters Degree with an emphasis in Early Childhood Education, in addition to a number of other certifications. She’s the mother of two successful adult children and has been married for over 30 years. Her focus as a Positive Discipline Educator is working with parents to strengthen the family unit by building stronger, authentic connections that allow both adults and children to thrive.

Michelle Noe is a retired Special Education teacher with 30 years experience and a Masters Degree in Educational Administration. She’s a foster mother and the CEO of the nonprofit organization Boost A Foster Family.  She is a lover of great curriculum and practices that enhance learning, and she’s passionate about making sure that parents and teachers understand the impact of trauma on children’s developing brains. Her broad array of talents, creativity, and wisdom make her an invaluable resource!

Tom Reardon, Positive Discipline Educator, has a BA in Humanities from ASU and Masters classes in Education from the University of Phoenix. He has a wealth of experience in writing and delivering prevention curriculum to both children and adults, and is also a professional writer and musician. He was introduced to Positive Discipline in 2018 and was immediately hooked! As the father of seven and grandfather of one, he brings a much-needed male perspective to this work!

Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
I would describe our road as a variety of paths leading to a shared destination and vision: a thriving nonprofit that provides parents, teachers, and businesses with concepts and tools for developing respectful relationships. All seven of us, through our own parenting, teaching, and work experience, have felt the joy and fulfillment that come with using Positive Discipline tools and skills. When we forget to use them (because we’re human!), we notice the difference and Positive Discipline gives us strategies for recalibrating, so to speak, so we can get back on course.

Positive Discipline is based on the work of psychologists Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, who focused much of their work on human relationships. Their belief was that the need for belonging and significance is the primary motivation for human behavior. When we feel like we belong and have something to contribute to “the group” (the family group, the friendship group, the classroom group, etc.), we tend to use what Adler would call “socially useful” behavior.

However, when we don’t feel belonging and significance, or when another important need isn’t being met, we tend to use what Adler would call “socially useless” behavior: behavior that does not promote our connection to the group.

Positive Discipline helps adults recognize that, if we want children to be capable, responsible, and successful, we need to tune in to the “belief behind the misbehavior,” and use the opportunity to teach kids skills for getting their needs met in more socially appropriate ways. When we think “big picture” like this, we can be responsive to the situation, rather than reactive, and achieve more effective results.

In the home and in the classroom, parents, and teachers who use Positive Discipline concepts and skills engage children in the problem-solving process, while setting and enforcing boundaries with dignity and respect. Research shows that this authoritative model is significantly more effective than authoritarian models in raising and teaching children to be confident, competent adults.

Which brings me to our greatest challenge: helping parents and teachers to make the paradigm shift away from an authoritarian model, which many of us were raised with (adults are in charge, kids should do as they’re told, and punishment and rewards are the most useful tools for modifying behavior), to the research-supported authoritative model. When adults make that shift, they experience fewer challenging behaviors and increased connection and understanding with children, and children learn to be capable, resourceful members of a mutually supportive family/classroom.

Addressing that challenge: Many parents and teachers are looking for helpful strategies. They want the results that Positive Discipline offers, but time and cost can keep them from accessing the help they need. Our response to this is twofold.

1. Our nonprofit model will allow us to access funding sources, through both private donations and grants, to help make Positive Discipline training affordable to parents, schools, and other organizations that wish to implement this model.

2. We will be offering both initial training and ongoing support through a variety of in-person classes around AZ and throughout the Southwest, in addition to online classes and individualized coaching. Paradigm shifts don’t happen overnight. When challenges arise, it’s natural for people to revert to old ways of being and doing, even when they’re not effective, because that’s what feels comfortable. Ongoing support is frequently needed to help people practice strategies and thinking patterns until they become habit.

Positive Discipline Southwest – what should we know? What do you guys do best? What sets you apart from the competition?
One of the most frequent comments we get from people who have taken our training is, “I tried that strategy with my spouse/parent/coworker/boss, and it worked!” That’s because Positive Discipline concepts and tools are relationship tools. The initial focus for the Positive Discipline Association was on parenting and teaching: adult-child relationships. More recently, Jane, Lynn, and other trainers have collaborated to create Keeping the Joy in Relationships, Encouragement Consulting, and Respectful Relationships in the Workplace. These classes focus on creating adult relationships that are based in mutual dignity and respect. We’ll be offering these classes, as well, because when adults are effective in maintaining respectful relationships with each other, they’re happier and more productive, and they’re more likely to model those skills for kids.

Positive Discipline is different from most other models because we teach experientially. Reading a book can be helpful and attending a lecture might give you some good ideas to latch onto. But those types of learning don’t tend to help people “get it” from a gut level.

Positive Discipline classes teach concepts and skills by engaging participants in role-playing, discussion, and joint problem-solving. Our highly interactive classes are engaging and generate deeper understanding of another person’s behavior, whether the other person is a child or another adult. When participants grow their awareness of how their words and actions are perceived by others, they develop empathy, which becomes the motivation for change.

It’s powerful stuff! It’s life changing…it’s world-changing! Can you imagine what our society—what our world!—would be like, if everyone were trained in self-awareness, other-awareness, emotional regulation, conflict resolution, and problem-solving skills?

That’s what we practice, and that’s what we teach.

Pricing:

• Pricing for 2-day trainings is set by the Positive Discipline Association at $375 Early Bird/$425 regular registration. This covers the cost of the training and includes all materials. These trainings certify participants to use the concepts and skills themselves, and to teach them to others.
• Positive Discipline in the Classroom 2 day training with Dodie Blomberg and Eva Dwight: Friday and Saturday, Sept. 20-21 at Grace United Methodist Church at Gilbert and University in Mesa
• Positive Discipline for Early Childhood Educators 2 day training with Eva Dwight: Friday and Saturday, October 18-19 at Grace United Methodist Church at Gilbert and University in Mesa
• Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way 2 day with Dodie Blomberg and Eva Dwight: Friday and Saturday, November 15-16 at Grace United Methodist Church at Gilbert and University in Mesa
• (Positive Discipline does not have a religious affiliation. The training is at a church because Grace United offers us a lovely facilitation room at an affordable price.)
• Anyone who would like to schedule a training in their part of the Valley (or anywhere in Arizona) may contact us to discuss details.

Contact Info:

• Email: Dodie Blomberg at dodieblombergpda@yahoo.com
  Eva Dwight at endwightccc@gmail.com
• Phone: 480.213.0341 or 480.363.7686

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