Meet Heather Hillenbrand, LMFT, CST of Soul Fire Sex and Relationship Therapy

Today we’d like to introduce you to Heather Hillenbrand, LMFT, CST.

Hi Heather, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
The journey to becoming a certified sex therapist has been incredibly rich and interesting! I began my work in the field of sexuality about 12 years ago. It started as a journey of self-discovery and quickly turned into an understanding that this was part of my purpose in life. I began co-facilitating and participating in multiple underground spiritual sexual workshops across the globe. I studied and traveled to workshops for many different spiritual traditions. I learned the power of sexual healing, not only for myself, but witnessed many others shed years of shame from lack of sex education, sexual trauma, and/or abuse. I watched married couples rekindle after 25 years of a sexless marriage. I witnessed people come out and own their sexual orientation in power. After five years into this journey, I became inspired to start providing a sex positive sex education for children. I recognized that the one thing that was missing for all of these people was a sex positive approach to sex education as a child. I wrote and published my two books, A Girl’s Magic and A Boy’s Magic. Both of these books were intended to lead to offering my own workshops and to support parents to learn to communicate with their children from a sex positive perspective. I was a sex educator for two years outside of spiritual sexual communities. And I hustled. I hustled to provide programs to schools, independent workshops for parents, and online resources. My books and workshops became a foundation for my understanding of the field of sexuality. Yet, I knew there was more to learn. I found a certificate program with the University of Minnesota that offered credentialing as a sex educator. Through this program, I learned more about myself and what I really wanted to offer in the field of sexuality. I decided to continue by attending graduate school. After earning my Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy, I landed my dream job in a practice that focused on sexuality. After three years earning my licensure and CST (certified sex therapist), I took the biggest leap of all and opened my own practice in April 2025. This has been the most challenging, yet rewarding thing I’ve ever done for myself. I am deeply grateful to work in the field of sexuality, to provide services to individuals and couples from a sex positive perspective. This journey has not just been about providing for clients, but with every client, workshop, or book I put into the world, I always gain so much understanding about myself and the power of healing our sexuality.

Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Starting out with a minimal income and almost no money saved, I have paid for all of my own education working my way through schools and certifications. I applied to several scholarship programs to support me with school. I took out loans to cover tuition and lived in tiny spaces to cut costs on rent. The investments have paid off, however, the hardship along the way brought times where I was hungry and sometimes alone. The taboo around presenting sex positive sex education and sex therapy became obvious in the first few years of my work. It was no surprise why the spiritual sexual workshops were underground and only heard about through word-of-mouth. It seemed the world was not ready to accept a different perspective on sexuality. It was a hustle and a grind to have people understand the intentions for my books and to work through gatekeeping to provide programs and workshops that support children to understand a key part of themselves. There have been several times I have been sexually harassed or mistaken for a prostitute simply because the word sex is in my title. One potential office landlord refused to rent to me because he thought I was a prostitute. Many people are still close-minded about sex and sexuality. But all of those things don’t really matter to me. My purpose is clear. Despite challenges, I will continue to grow and provide sex positive, therapeutic services to the general public.

Great, so let’s talk business. Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
Soul Fire Sex and Relationship Therapy is a boutique therapy practice offering specialized support in the field of sexuality to individuals and couples. As the owner and practicing Sex and Relationship Therapist, I specialize in supporting clients with sexual trauma, desire discrepancy, ethical non-monogamy, orgasm and eroticism, BDSM/kink, and much more. I also provide workshops, consultation for provider training in the field of sexuality, and much more. Soul Fire is a place for community support where groups are held. All are welcome!

Do you have any advice for those looking to network or find a mentor?
I think the biggest advice I could give around finding a mentor is first, allowing yourself to find your purpose. When your purpose is clear and you know your path, the mentors will appear. They will be aligned with your purpose and offer you exactly the support you need in the time that you need it. All of the teachers and mentors that I needed along my journey appeared with the engagement of my purpose. I also think it is important to have mentors, coaches, supervisors, and teachers on your side. However, it is also important to remember your own intuition has a lot of power when creating your own path and business.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.soulfiresextherapy.com

Image Credits
Image Credit: Heather Hillenbrand