Exploring Life & Business with Jonathan Bui of The Negotiated Apology Project

Today we’d like to introduce you to Jonathan Bui.

Jonathan, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
I was born at a young age (you can cut this joke out).

I had quite the journey getting to The Negotiated Apology Project.

In my early 20’s, I was involved in the wrong lifestyle. Things came to ahead in 2012 when I was arrested, charged, and convicted of assault, reckless burning, and theft. That was the beginning of a series of wakeup calls. I was sentenced to 6 months or work release; a relative mercy considering the severity of the charges. I thank Judge Trickey to this day for seeing something in me that I did not at the time.

Fast forward a few years later and I was a 1L (first year) in law school. I worked at a small boutique firm in Seattle that summer and was assigned to an adverse possession case. Adverse possession is when one person claims some or all of another’s land because they had been using that land productively for a certain number of years. Usually, these cases involve abandoned houses or properties and people who maintain them. This case involved a 2×6 foot piece of land between the properties. The parties had spent over fifty thousand dollars each on the suit. The value of the strip of land was probably in the hundreds; maybe low thousands since it was a nicer part of the country. And yes, it was incredibly stupid. They had a great relationship prior to the suit. And no matter the outcome, I realized that relationship was priceless; and it wasn’t coming back. The eventually winner didn’t realize they were already losing.

That sparked the genesis of my idea: conflict resolution with a focus on relationship healing.

I finish law school and received another wakeup call. The Bar Association did not believe I possessed the requisite moral character to practice law because of my past criminal conduct and because I lacked candor in explaining it when confronted about it. And they were right. I had done so much work externally that I never took the time to do the internal work on myself to confront my own guilt and shame.

Around this same time, I was creating a model of relationship-focused conflict resolution. I was morphing the principles of negotiation and adjudication I had learned and practiced in school and in legal jobs into a framework that anyone; not just lawyers, can use. And due to the Bar Association slamming the door in my face, I realized my framework was missing one key human element. Obviously, my framework already deeply focused on human relationships but I realized it overly emphasized the needs of the victim. My framework would have missed the crucial human element of the wrongdoer’s relationship with themselves. And I had just received first-hand experience of the devastating consequences of not having that same accountable and forgiving relationship with yourself internally. My framework would only work if there was an element of self-exploration.

I don’t practice law today. I practice human conflict communication; internally and externally. And I help the bad guys find the path to becoming good guys.

As you know, we’re big fans of The Negotiated Apology Project. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about the brand?
I am proud my business utilizes a conflict resolution process entirely of my work creation. I’m equally proud that I am able to make high level conflict resolution concepts accessible for everyone (seriously, the education cost me over a hundred grand); and through a medium that is widely-known (apologies) but severely under-studied and often poorly performed. I love that I empower people with the tools which they can hone and use over and over again instead of being lost or dependent on another to solve their interpersonal conflict. I love that I can change business or organizational culture wholesale by impacting the members who make up those organizations.

I specialize in giving people the tools to have difficult conversations and guiding them through those conversations. You’d be surprised how sitting down with someone can take divorces and lawsuits off the table. In our fast-pace and avoidant world, people forget that relationships take time and effort. But they also forget a little can go an extremely long way towards transformative changes.

I focus on a few services. I do workshops and seminars for large groups, mediations for small groups, and coaching and consulting for individuals. I am also a public speaker who discusses the financial impact of not saying sorry, how to communicate effectively, and my life’s story of being a loser who figured it out.

Any big plans?
I look forward to completing my book and starting on videos. The core principles are the same: apologies are a negotiation for forgiveness.

Pricing:

• For-profit workshop: $5000
• Non-profit workshop: $1000
• 10-Coaching program: $2000
• Consultation session: $300/hr
• Mediation: $250/hr

Contact Info:

• Website: https://thenegotiatedapology.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenegotiatedapologyproject/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jon-bui