Daily Inspiration: Meet Valerie Silveira

Today we’d like to introduce you to Valerie Silveira. She shares her story with us below:

We all have hopes and dreams for our lives – for an amazing future. But, often, life has other plans for us. All hell broke loose for me when my daughter, Jamie, was fifteen. She was the most gifted person I have ever known. She was popular, funny, intelligent, athletic, artistic, quick-witted, and more. But when she was fifteen, Jamie suddenly quit select softball, youth group, her friends, and eventually school. Her life was spiraling out of control, and for three years, I tried to stop the freight train headed toward a brick wall.

On a sunny Tuesday morning in August 2004, I got the news that my eighteen-year-old daughter had been shot by her ex-boyfriend and was in the ICU after life-saving surgery from a gunshot wound to the abdomen.  I watched Jamie’s chest rise and fall as oxygen was pushed into her lungs, waiting, and hoping she would wake up. The surgeon explained the bullet was lodged in her abdominal wall and that it was the least of their concerns. They had cut her open from her breastbone to her pubic bone and spent hours stopping the internal bleeding. My daughter had been fileted open like a fish.

I sat there taking in what detectives told me about what happened the night before when her ex-boyfriend assaulted and shot her. I tried to wrap my head around the boyfriend I knew was bad news being a gang member. My mind was racing, and the guilt of being unable to save Jamie from herself enveloped me. How could this be my life? It was supposed to be amazing. Instead, I was living a nightmare.

Miraculously, Jamie survived. She had nearly 50 staples holding her abdomen together, however with only minor long-term effects, except for the bullet inside her.

One night in the hospital, Jamie, who had become very distant, asked me, “Mommy, will you pray with me?” I am not that comfortable praying out loud, but that night I prayed my brains out. And I thought for sure Jamie would get off the destructive path and return to us. Nothing would be further from the truth.

Over the next decade, Jamie’s life spun further out of control, and mine spiraled into darkness. I would learn what I had suspected – that Jamie was addicted to drugs and eventually to heroin. To say “Jamie” and “heroin” in the same sentence seemed impossible.

I was her mom, so I put on my Supermom Cape and came to her rescue repeatedly, but nothing seemed to help. I was losing my daughter, and I was losing myself.

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – how difficult has it been for you to overcome your challenges?
I’ve had many challenges from early childhood on, but nothing compared to the heartbreak of losing my only daughter to the addiction beast. Being unable to save her caused me to live with tremendous guilt, shame, helplessness, hopelessness, and paralyzing fear.

But you know what? Often our lowest point can be the most important. In my darkest days, I stood in my kitchen, feeling hopeless. So many times, I wanted to say it, but I was too scared and didn’t want my husband, Rich, to feel worse. I blurted out that day in the kitchen, “I don’t want to be here anymore. It’s too hard.”

The good news is those words scared me into action. Sean was losing his only sibling – his first best friend. He was not going to lose his mom, too. Rich deserved to have back the woman he married. Depression and hopelessness would not be my legacy.

So that day, I decided to stand up and fight for my life! I had no idea where I was going or how I would get there, but self-destruction was no longer an option. With a heart shattered into a million pieces, I fought at first for one hour of happiness.

Jamie’s life quickly spiraled downward, but mine did not. As much as it pained me, I had to figure out how to use this situation for some good. I wrote my first book and workbook and began helping other moms like me to reclaim their lives.

I created what I now call the 9 Weapons of Hope, and they saved my life.

I went from being down on the mat with my codependency beast on top of me, to a woman of unwavering courage.

It’s a good thing I did what I did when I did because 12 years and 12 days after Jamie was shot the first time, I got the knock on the door that every mother dreads. Jamie was gone. She didn’t overdose, though. She was murdered.

I dropped back down to the mat and was tempted to give up. But once you cross the courage line, there’s no going back. So, with a massive hole in my heart, I stood up again, more determined than ever, to make a difference. My mission is not one I sought but one that found me. While a part of me wishes I was assigned a different purpose, I have fully embraced it and consider it an honor to stand with other women and help them shed their shame, guilt, and fear. I love watching them disrupt and replace their trauma with courage and hope.

Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I am the founder and champion of Warriors in Hope®, a speaker, and an award-winning author of multiple books and journals. I have had a diverse career in finance, business operations, entrepreneurship, consulting, training, and speaking. I use my professional experience, two rides on the Roller Coaster From Hell, and my journey to courage and hope, to help others put the pieces of their lives back together.

I think I’m an effective leader because I walk my talk. I have an incredibly relatable style, am very transparent, quick-witted, and have a great sense of humor. Most of all, I have a heart for those who want to improve their lives.

Where we are in life is often partly because of others. Who else deserves credit for how your story turned out.
I’m grateful first to God, who never gave up on this flawed woman and has allowed me to be a part of other women’s journeys from pain to purpose. My husband, Rich, deserves credit for his unconditional support and belief in me. I am grateful to my son, Sean, for understanding why it felt for so many years that I cared more about his sister than him (and knowing it wasn’t true). Also, the countless women and men whose stories have inspired me to keep going. I am grateful for those who have linked arms with me as a tribe of Warriors in Hope who keep standing in the face of unimaginable pain and loss.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://valeriesilveira.com/
• Youtube: https://youtube.com/valeriesilveira
• SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/valeriesilveira
• Other: https://warriorsinhope.com