Conversations with Grace El

Thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, how did you get started?
Hi! My name is Grace. But my name hasn’t always been Grace. My birth name is Tabitha. I am a military brat. My mom and Step Dad are retired Air Force Veterans, while my twin sister, Tiffany, and I are Navy Veterans. I never really considered joining the military growing up. It honestly just happened one day. I was going to the recruiter’s office with my mom and sister, and the recruiter turned to me and asked me what it would take to join. I told him it would take a lot because I was already accepted to America’s top five culinary schools. I was so set on going to college. So I challenged him. I said make sure I can be a cook, and I’m in. I took the ASVAB without studying, and the list of jobs available for me, being a cook or Culinary Specialist, was on there. The recruiter looked at me and said now what so I signed my name on the line.

Little did I know that my life would never be the same. I did one enlistment, had my beautiful baby girl, Leya, and got out of the military. I was suffering from postpartum depression, and things took a downward spiral after that. Eventually, I ended up trying to rebuild my relationship with Christ, which led me deeper into depression and confusion. Little did I know that I was suffering from Bipolar Depression type two.

The one thing that I knew was even in the midst of my depression and confusion,God was still speaking to me. God would continue to affirm me while calling me Grace. I didn’t know then, but God was renaming me. God was calling me my new name in my depression, confusion, and pain. But that’s a story for another time! Eventually, I moved to Georgia and endured some of the worst experiences I have ever had. I spent well over a year and a half self-harming and attempting to take my own life while pretending everything was ok. I was broken and lost, but in my brokenness, a desire to live began to bloom within me. But not without struggle and determination.

I moved to Arizona a couple of years ago for healing and peace. That’s what I found here. But most importantly, I found my voice. The more I started to embrace myself authentically, the more I wanted to create a platform where other people could share their stories on how they started embracing themselves authentically. And just like that, Me, Authentically Podcast, was born!

I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey has been fairly smooth?
One of the challenges I encounter on my journey to creating a safe place for others is learning to accept myself fully; the good, the bad, and the ugly. I know the darkness. I know what it’s like to be surrounded by guilt, sadness, regret, self-hatred, the list goes on and on. Like so many other people, we know the darkness and sometimes embrace it. It’s the light that scared me at first. There’s duality in life. For every up, there is a down. For every left, there is a right. For every valley, there’s a mountaintop. That lets me know that there can only be an equal measure of light in the depths of darkness that I have survived. It’s the light that scares people who only know darkness. We are constantly evolving. That’s why I’m here. Every step I take into the light helps someone else step closer to their light. Releasing the old and embracing the new is honestly my biggest challenge. I use my challenges and conversations with God as topics on the podcast. And by doing that, I allow my vulnerability with my challenges to empower myself and all those who will tune in.

How can people work with you, collaborate with you or support you?
Support is everything! As a friend of mines says all the time, “It’s people that make the world go around.” And that’s so true. We can do nothing without each other. I need to you just like you need me. Me, Authentically Podcast, has collaborated with Jazz_thehealer from It’s Alchemy on the first 6 episodes from season 1—also, my twin sister, Tiffany who is one of the strongest women I know, on an episode on the podcast about adoption. Collaborations are important to me because we need to hear other people’s stories, struggles, and triumphs. Support is important to me because we need to be in relationships with people who will encourage us to press towards our best selves continuously through the good, the bad and the indifferent. That kind of support is what propels us into our best selves. I look forward to being able to help support those who are in need. To help encourage, laugh, cry with, or sit in silence with. I’m grateful for my support team, both near and far. If you don’t have a support team, you have one now. You are not alone. Hear me; You are not alone!