Conversations with Christine Sajona

Today we’d like to introduce you to Christine Sajona

Hi Christine, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?
My name is Christine and I am 51 years old. I am single, a mother of one (grown) son, an aspiring Holistic Wellness Practitioner and a suicide survivor. I have struggled with depression and anger my whole life, though I come from a loving family. Growing up military meant that we moved every few years, and my small family unit (comprised of my mom, dad, big brother, and me) was the only constant and secure thing Id known. I became obstinate, rebellious, and impetuous, and would find myself constantly in trouble, at home and at school. My dad worked as a Mental Health Technician on base, but my parents were at a loss as to how to protect me from civilian law. In 1989 I was placed in a mental institution and diagnosed with dysthymia (mild and/or cyclic depression), The following year, I lost my beloved brother in a car accident, and it tore my family apart; it wasn’t long until my parents divorced. By then, I had moved out and started my own family, but would divorce in 1996, at the start of my medical career. In 2007, I was diagnosed with Stargardt’s Disease – a form of macular degeneration – which would end my medical career, and life as I knew it. By 2009, I could no longer work or drive due to my vision loss, and the strain took it’s toll on my relationship. In 2010, that love of my life committed suicide; on Dec. 4th of 2018, after a series of unfortunate events, I attempted the same. I woke up in ICU, and spent the weeks that followed (once again) in a mental facility. Upon being released, I was provided no counseling, therapy or resources; just a (required) monthly “check-in” with a court-appointed psychologist. How is it that I made it through to where I am now? Well, I’ll tell you…
In that facility, I had lots of time to reflect on what I’d done and how it affected those who loved me. I heard it in their voices, and saw it on their faces, and it broke my heart, so I made promises – I promised them I’d never put them through that again.
There’s a quote from the movie “The Shawshank Redemption” that kept repeating in my mind, “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” Out of love for my family, I made the decision to “get busy living”; I made the DECISION, to live, and live the best life, being the best person, I possibly can, and I FIGHT for it, – EVERY. DAY.
Of course, this is easier said than done – it takes constant effort and awareness to not slip into, and stay, in a depressive mind-set. But HOW, you ask? I’ve spent the last 5 years building my arsenal of defenses: firstly, I had to dispose of the “victim mentality”; “Wednesday’s child, full of woe”; the “damned if I do, damned if I don’t”, Eeyore (Winnie the Pooh) mentality – again, not easy (especially with an adult on-set disability). Secondly, I found what inspires me and makes me happy, and I try to immerse myself in those things as much as possible! I find it in music, nature, healthy foods, beautiful scenery, educating myself, working towards a healthier lifestyle, and in spiritual growth – all very personal things that having nothing to do with other people. Thirdly, I allow those times of pain; to be frustrated, angry, or to cry, but instead of holding on to it, it is dealt with and RELEASED.
There are also physical remedial techniques; like taking a walk, exercising, taking a hot bath to relax, or a cold shower to invigorate; “spoiling yourself”, engaging the senses and indulging in self-care; whatever makes you feel good – WITHOUT guilt. I’m also learning various modalities of self-healing and holistic healthcare, from Holistic Nutrition to Reiki; from aromatherapy to tapping, and various other classes. I have toiled long and hard to get here, and will continue to strive to be the best version of myself that I possibly can be. It began out of love for my family; now it is out of love for myself, and respect for LIFE. As we speak, I’m planning my future as a Holistic Health Practitioner and despite my low-vision and battle with depression, I am hopeful for success and happiness.

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
It hasn’t been an “easy” road – it’s filled with stories of loss; loss of loved ones; loss of my vision (partially, due to Stargardt’s Disease), and the added losses of my ability to drive, my freedom, my independence, and what I thought my life would be. The challenges that come with it have often seemed insurmountable and simply impossible; they are time consuming and require an exorbitant amount of patience – with yourself, with others, and with technology. I spent a decade in denial, anger, frustration, and with a “victim mentality”. It seemed no one understood, or cared to really. Having clinical depression on top of it all was certainly no help. I’ve had to claw my way to sanity and serenity through a process I call “brain-training”, which takes awareness, acknowledgement, tenacity, and perseverance, every day. Obviously some days are better than others, and I allow myself the time. to feel and deal with whatever may coming, knowing there will always be the other side of it; knowing that the only constant in life, is change. The key to facing any obstacle or challenge is critical thinking and adaptability.

Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
A few years ago, I was introduced to acrylic fluid art, and I was immediately curious and enthralled with it. I watched a few videos and began to acquire the necessary basic supplies to give it a try, myself; it was love at first pour! It wasn’t easy to get the hang of it a t first, and like many other hobbies I’d tried but didn’t initially succeed at, I thought perhaps it wasn’t for me. One day, I decided to give it one last attempt, and just as I though I’d made a mess of it, something magical happened – a painting was emerging, and with each added layer of paint, my excitement grew! I decided to stop when it felt “right”, which is a hard thing to know with this particular medium, and when I looked down, I was thrilled with the finished piece! I was ON to something, I thought to myself, and the next day, I was determined to explore and study the artform. After trying many different techniques, I began posting my works on social media, and they were quickly noticed by my friends, who actually wanted to buy them! I began taking my creations to various local art/music shows, and it wasn’t long before requests for commissioned pieces started coming in. I continue to paint and can officially call myself an artist now! It has brought me much joy and a sense of accomplishment. My favorite part about it is hearing how others interpret what they see in my paintings and knowing my creations are appreciated and even loved. It’s something I thought I’d never know, and here we are. Proof you can be your own inspiration.

Can you talk to us about how you think about risk?
When I was diagnosed with low-vision, I was working my way through school to be a nurse, as I was already in the medical field but had reached a plateau; the diagnosis put an end to that dream, and put an end to being a student ever again – or so I’d thought. I attempted school once more after that, and arrived at the same conclusion and dropped out again (I was easily defeat-able at the time). Since then, I’ve received low-vision life and technology training, and found hope for a future once again. I began booking local live music shows; putting myself out there, and gaining back my confidence. I decided to go back to school, but this time, it wouldn’t be at a traditional 4-year college; this time it would be on MY terms, to learn things I thought were only reserved for the sighted and privileged. It’s been almost a year now, and I’m maintaining a 4.0 grade average! I’ll be risking all safety and security to venture out and start my own holistic wellness practice, and I don’t have much support. It’ll take everything I’m made of to pull it off, and I intend to do, just that.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://alimentalalchemy.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amaurotic.art/

Image Credits
Cheyenne Daughtry and myself.