Today we’d like to introduce you to Shandra Bailey.
Hi Shandra, so excited to have you on the platform. So before we get into questions about your work-life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today?
My story is long and entertaining. But tragic. I would call it “The demise of a middle-class housewife”. But briefly I will give you the backstory. I was in a cult in North Carolina. Men dominated. Women were subservient. Needless to say, I was rebellious. I had big dreams I wanted to accomplish in life. I married a Marine who became an Engineer. I was young and didn’t realize that my optimism, loyalty, and belief in him couldn’t change him. I joined the religion he was in, We were married 25years which gifted me and the world, 5 beautiful and brilliant children. I was very naive about the world and after my divorce was a steep learning curve. I became involved with a man that introduced me to drugs. I lost it all. My housing, my children, my reputation, and my credibility. EMERGE, a domestic violence organization saved me once. Jail saved me again. My probation officer believed in me and saved me again by taking me straight to The Haven, a woman’s program for addiction and recovery. Which opened my mind and educated me about addiction, domestic violence, and addiction. The Haven saved me also. After getting off probation and having stable housing, I applied to work at the Haven. After reliving all my bad choices, My fingerprint clearance card was approved and I applied at The Haven. I was hired. The Haven saved me and I started to work with the women that I now identify with. Saving me again. Everything that I have outlined is the briefest description. Sprinkled among so many events were spiritual experiences and ah ha moments that have kept me going and guiding my way. My biggest lesson-to believe in myself.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
1. Losing all power and influence as a Mother over my children’s welfare.
2. Realizing that no one could save me. I had to do the work to save myself. Even though I mention in the last question “save me”. In reality it was an offer from the Universe to teach me.
3. Being homeless
4. Being used and abused.
5. Seeing reality from different perspectives. i.e. Being in jail Looking over the fence and seeing a mountain and hearing the traffic realizing that the reality was different beyond the walls was different than the one I’m experiencing now.
6. Forgiving and learning about those that impacted me negatively I had no boundaries. Learning that just because I was a nice person doesn’t protect me. That it was my duty to myself to protect me.
7. Being grateful for my journey. Seeing and accepting that this life’s experience is a catalyst for my weaknesses to become strong which propels one toward their full potential.
8. The world is unjust, but the logarithm of the universe can work with that.
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I am an Educator for The Haven, an addiction and recovery program for women. I recently moved from teaching groups at our residential location to our new telehealth program. I teach all kinds of groups but if I had to say what I specialize in, it would be making a connection. Because unless people can feel your non-judgement and understanding. What am I known for? Dancing in class, being silly, helping women believe in themselves. What am I most proud of? When members/clients come up with arms open, knowing I will give them a hug. What sets me apart? Nothing. When I was getting off probation and won an award someone asked me this. My respons, “I am the same as the person living under a bridge. Just a little more fortunate.
Can you talk to us about how you think about risk?
Yes. I’m a risk taker. I call it “spontaneous”. The system called it, ‘impulsive”. Granted my journey has helped me be more discerning. But still one of my mottos comes from Miss Frizzle from the Magic School Bus, “”Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!”.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://thehaventucson.org/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehaventucson/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheHavenTucsonAZ/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thehaventucson
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thehaventucsonAZ
