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Meet Linda Denise

Today we’d like to introduce you to Linda Denise. 

Linda, before we jump into specific questions, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
In 2006, I was working full-time as a director in a Fortune25 multinational corporation, attending law school at night, and a single mother to a college-aged son, I had a very busy life! Although I considered myself to be happy, I could not help feeling that life would be that much sweeter shared with another person. It was not just the loneliness, it was the comfort and companionship that I longed for. It was knowing that someone cared about me and put me first in their life.

Prior to my last dating journey, I’d had the odd date here and there, a few short-term relationships lasting less than three years, and dry spells in between. What I really wanted was to date someone that had long term potential. Deep down, I felt I was not perfect enough and I did not believe I was loveable. I was 43 years old, never married, and I weighed almost 300 pounds. Not only that, but I still had underlying fears.

What if I was just setting myself up to get hurt? Did I need to lose weight first in order to be lovable? Or get my teeth fixed or have some work done to look younger?

I also was really overwhelmed with where to begin my search. I wanted to try online dating again but there are so many different options for sites (even more now!). I also wondered whether waiting for it to happen organically was a better option – you know, let the universe bring him to me. If I did that, though, I was worried I might miss my “window”… after all, I was only getting older and I didn’t think I would meet the love of my life sitting on my couch. Aside from all these things, I literally HAD no extra time for dating.

AND I already had a great life as a single – I didn’t want to give that up only to be miserable in a mediocre relationship! So, I knew I was going to have to approach my search for love with a different mindset. After some internal brainstorming, I decided to approach my search like a project at work. Using my project management skills, I created a framework for dating, that would allow me to take control of my dating experience.

Before I even went online, I created a specific process, that not only ensured I was ready for love in every aspect of my life (including mind, heart, and soul) but also ensured I stayed consistent with my relationship goals while projecting myself authentically. This included time-saving technics and step-by-step processes focused on human connection and not on “catching” anyone.

After just three weeks of implementing my new dating plan, I met Rick – a successful, funny, and intriguing man. What followed was an exciting, adventurous, and meaningful courtship. Rick and I have now been married for 11 years. Our marriage has been full of compassion, laughter, great conversation (and sometimes respectful arguments) as well as a deep abiding understanding (and continuing unveiling) of each other as human beings.

This partnership has exceeded my dreams of what love with a partner would be, as together, we navigate our way through the ups and downs of life. And it all started with my commitment to being myself and not compromising who I was in order to be in a relationship.

In 2018, after over a decade as a corporate litigation attorney, I decided I wanted to do something that gave me more joy and allowed me a more flexible lifestyle. I went to a Celebrate Your Life conference here in Phoenix lead by Elizabeth Gilbert (author of “Eat, Pray, Love”) and Martha Beck (author and life coach – “Finding Your Own North Star”) – when I left this conference three days later I was a dating coach and had my first two clients!

I now have the absolute pleasure of helping my clients, men and women, find joy and fulfillment as a single and, from there, find a soul-satisfying lasting love – while enjoying their dating journey along the way!

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
Being a solopreneur is definitely not for someone looking for a quick and easy way to success! When I started, I had a process I knew worked for myself and with my first few clients, I was very quickly able to demonstrate it would work for others. However, I had worked in large corporations for the last 25 years of my life, where we had whole departments that brought work to me and provided me with tech support. I never had to figure it out for myself – especially all the marketing and technology – it was an entirely new language and skill set to learn. I didn’t know what a “lead magnet” was, how to price my program so that it would be beneficial to both me and my client, how to use Facebook groups to engage with and meet my ideal client, etc.

And then how do you take all the information in your head and best transfer the process to others – who start their dating journeys at so many different points? And once you learn something, particularly because of how quickly technology changes, you have to stay on top of the changes. So…I learned very quickly that, just as I served as a mentor for my clients as it relates to dating, I needed to find business coaches and network and collaborate with others whose businesses aligned or syncopated with mine. The other benefit of these collaborations is that I was making human connections on a daily basis – which when you are working on building your business alone is really important – so you have support and have the opportunity to give back to others as well!

Please tell us more about your work. What do you do? What do you specialize in? What sets you apart from competition?
I specialize in helping singles find joy and fulfillment – right now as they are – and from this place of authenticity to navigate the world of dating – online and offline. I help them remove barriers – whether it is a mindset that does not support their search, finding the time for a dating search, or finding clarity in what they really need in a relationship BEFORE they start looking for a partner.

I call myself a dating architect and coach because instead of diving into the dating pool without a plan – we, first, focus on who the client is – as they are – not as they think they have to be in order to attract someone. From this place of authenticity, we design the relationship that they truly need for a long-lasting soul-satisfying love based on their lifestyle goals, values, and interests. I call this the relationship blueprint. Then we decide what the characteristics are that they need in another in order to achieve that relationship – what are their “non-negotiables” – and it’s not going to be a long list – but it will be a very meaningful and realistic one.

From there, we put together a dating plan, based on my client’s schedule, interests, and goals. I have a specific connection process, which saves my clients time and energy. Depending on how much they were dating before, they will likely go on fewer dates using my process but the ones they go on will be much higher quality – full of human connection and fun! 

What is “success” or “successful” for you?
I define success as jumping out of bed and wanting to go to work – not feeling like it is work (well most of the time – the techie stuff is still a challenge at times – but I have a VA that helps out with that now, so it is easier).

I define success as helping others find joy in their life as a single person – living fully without shame – just as they are – and – if they want a partner to share their great life with – then from there finding a love that is based on who they are and what they need and want in life – not based on what society or their family or friends say is the right relationship for them. 

I define success as making a great income that allows me to have a lifestyle where I can travel and take my family on adventures – where our world is expanded by our connection with others – especially others that are different from us. I define success as having loving friends, family, and an amazing partner who all love me just as I am and to whom I can give all the love that I have for them just as they are.

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Image Credit:
By Nancy Lynn Miller, Posh Creative Photography (except wedding photos)
By Doug Williams, Greenlight Photography (wedding photos)

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